


Some things lost and found

by Winter_mornings68



Category: Supernatural
Genre: After effects of loss, Canon Convergence, Confused Jack, Dead Castiel, Dealing with Canon, Dean's broken up about Cas, Gen, Hurt Dean, Hurt Sam, I mean, Lucifer's Spawn, M/M, Past Dean/Cas(kinda), Supernatural season 13, The alternate Universe is also included, WIP, and flashbacks, dealing with Jack, directly after 12.23
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 21:35:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11723037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winter_mornings68/pseuds/Winter_mornings68
Summary: “For once, Sam, we’re alone. Truly…and completely alone.”And you know what,we should probably keep it that way.





	1. Chapter 1

Sam’s POV  
A pair of glowing yellow eyes stares at him.

Sam is still breathing heavily, having only just gotten over the initial shock of seeing Lucifer’s spaw- Jack…Jack.  
They remind him of Lucifer’s eyes, eyes that glowed blood red, reminding him of organs strung from the ceiling, the acrid smell of burning flesh all around, and the never ending screams…the screams that were his own.  
There’s a steady buzz at the back of his head that he doesn’t acknowledge because he knows it’s pain.  
A sudden melancholic idea nags at the back of his head,that this was how it all began,with a pair of yellow eyes. Is this how it all ends? He shakes the idea away.

Sam tries to calm his breathing, and dismiss Lucifer, he was gone-he was gone-he was gone. _Please let him be gone. _Sam couldn’t afford to play to his whims now, there were more pressing matters at hand.__  
Like Jack.  
That’s what Kelly named him, and he was as much Kelly’s as he was Lucifer’s, maybe even more so. Sam had to remember that, he needs to remember that-that Jack isn’t Lucifer. _He isn’t._

___He remembers that he has been staring at him the entire time, and Jack stopped smiling some time ago, his eyes no longer bright yellow. He seems to be radiating power, raw and new. The entire room feels charged, static, the kind that makes your hair stand up. As if lightning had struck just a few minutes ago, Sam can _feel _it. The electricity, the smell of ozone and fire, and burning wood. It fills him with a strange kind of dread. He moves forward.___ _ _

___“Um..so, hey. I’m”- he places his hand on his chest, “Sam Winchester.” He suddenly realises that Jack isn’t wearing anything. He is naked, bare. As naked as the day he was born._ _ _

_____ _

_Well, yeah, he was born today. _  
A small voice whispers inside him.__

He takes off his coat and hands it over, still keeping a safe distance from Jack. Jack looks at him quizzically, his head tilting to a side. That’s when it strikes Sam. That Jack isn’t human. He is probably the most powerful being on Earth at this moment, other than-

And he doesn’t know anything about them, about us. That we are as alien to him as he is to us. Sam takes in a deep breath. He is way out of his depth here. What is he-

Jack rises. He gets up and stands, pressed to the wall for a few seconds, and then starts walking towards Sam.  
Wha-what is he _doing _? Sam can feel his breath stutter.__  
Jack comes closer, and Sam involuntarily takes a step back, at which Jack stops. And then he stares at Sam.  
Sam looks down, he can see the footprints that have burnt through the ground, and makes a mental note not to touch Jack anytime soon.  
But this has gone on too long, he need to communicate or do something, to forge a connection between this kid and him, because all powerful angelic being or not, he was still  
that- A kid. And right now, Sam and Dean is all he has. So, it’s up to them to…take care of him. 

____

Even in his brain, the thought seems distorted and weird. 

Sam takes a step forward and gingery places his coat over Jack’s shoulder.  
All the while which, Jack doesn’t move a muscle. After he’s done with securing the coat, Sam can’t help but think how Cas’s trench coat would have done a better job, but he can’t do that. Can’t ask that of Cas, not after all he’s done. Dean would kill him. Oh, shit, Dean-

He looks at Jack with wide eyes, and tries to-“um, my brother…my bother’s outside, you need to –to come with us, we won’t hurt you, I promise, but you need to come with us.” Jack doesn’t seem to understand, going by the confusion in his eyes and the fact that his head has gone back to tilting at an angle.  
Sam lets out a frustrated sigh. How do you get a one day-cross that- a few hours old all-powerful being to understand you? I mean, heck, did he even know English? 

Wait-wait, he had responded to Sam giving him the coat, maybe…Sam reaches his arm out,a nd makes a gesture with his fingers curling towards his palm. _Come. _Jack takes a step forward. Sam lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. _Relief. _He smiles at Jack, and then moves forward with his arm outstretched. Looking back at times to make sure Jack was following, and he was.  
They make it down to the front door. Sam turns around to look at Jack, as of to reassure him, that’s it’s okay. It’ll be okay. But will it?____

_____ _

He doesn’t know if Jack understands him or not. They step out.

____

The first thing Sam sees is Dean hunched over Cas’s dead body. His body shakes every once in a while, one of his fists clutching at the trench coat. Sam can make out half-whispered words in between the sobs and they break his heart. But-  
Sam knows he should give Dean some time, that this isn’t right, he shouldn’t even be here. But time is something that they don’t have. Cas was his friend too, but they need to get moving.  
He calls his name out tentatively “Dean..?” Dean's entire body tenses up, as if just now realising that he isn't alone, and wipes at his face with his sleeve. He takes in a broken breath and turns around. His eyes are red and puffy, and his face is still wet after his attempt at wiping his tears away.  
As Dean turns around, his expression changes from one of pain to that anger and terror. “What the hell? Who- _what _is this?!” Sam winces and looks at Jack, who hasn’t said a word nor moved an inch.__  
“That’s Jack.”  
Dean jerks his head in confusion and stares at Sam, and Sam realises,  
”Oh, right, Dean…this is Kelly’s son. Jack. “

____


	2. Accpetance and Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean knows what Sam is saying makes sense, that he’s probably right, but his brain just can’t seem to accept the fact that this would not end in a giant cluster fuck. It always does. So, how was this time going to be _any _different?__

Dean turns to look at Jack and then looks right back at Sam, his face wearing an incredulous expression.

“Kelly’s ki-you mean, Lucifer’s SPAWN- JACK? Maybe open with that next time, Sam.” So, what’re we looking at here? Benjamin button?"  
Sam shrugs “that’s just the way I found him. Hey, I don’t know how angel physiology works, okay?”  
Dean nods and then his face takes on a peculiar look “Really? You couldn’t find anything else?”  
Sam gapes like a fish “Wh- Dean, I-“  
Dean waves him away. “So, anyway, what’re we gonna do with him, we can’t put him in the cage, or shove him through that...rift thingy, can we lock him up in our dungeon-  
Sam makes a face at that and then interrupts him “I was thinking more along the lines of us...taking care of him?”

Dean cannot believe Sam. Is he kidding him? After everything, _EVERY _thing, he still thinks that anything good could come out of them _not _ganking this..thing.  
Dean’s eyes go down to the size of slits “Taking care of hi-motherfuck-Jesus, Sammy, this here is Lucifer’s child, an all-powerful being who’s birth, because I don’t know if you'd noticed, opened a rift to a goddamned alternate universe?!” Dean is shouting now, obviously exasperated.____

____“Oh come on, Dean, it’ not like..I mean, he’s still a kid. He may be half an arch angel, but he’s still half human, I mean, we promised Kelly-_ _ _ _

____“That was before Cas died, Sam, before mom died. Hell, even Crowley’s dead, Sam! Rowena’s burnt to crisp, half the American hunters are gone, the only people that thankfully aren’t dead are Jody,Claire and Alex, and god knows they came this close. This close. “He gestures with his hand. “For once, Sam, we’re alone. Truly…and completely alone.”_ _ _ _

_________And you know what,we should probably keep it that way. ___  
Dean thinks to himself, a grim smile playing on his lips. Everyone who comes close to us gets hurt in some way, or worse, they die. They always die.  
Sam’s looking at him with a kind of sympathetic look that makes Dean want to punch the fuck out of something. Like Sam isn’t hurting too, like Dean’s grief is justified. And yeah, maybe it is, but Dean’s not the illogical one here! Sam...it’s Sam who isn’t getting it.  
Sam opens his mouth to speak, and Dean already knows that Sam’s not letting him touch his kid, not if it involves hurting him. 

______“And so is he… Dean, he doesn’t have to be evil, I mean, we don’t know that. “_ _ _ _ _ _

___________And Dean knows what Sam is saying makes sense, that he’s probably right, but his brain just can’t seem to accept the fact that this would not end in a giant cluster fuck. It always does. So, how was this time going to be _any _different?___  
It’s as if Sam could sense his apprehension, because he says “But it might turn out okay, Dean, we can...teach him. He doesn’t have to be like Lucifer. He can be good.”  
Dean sighs, he’s too tired to argue, Cas is dead, and Mom’s probably going through unimaginable torture right now…In a strange way, he almost wishes she were dead, instead of having to deal with...Lucifer.  
He shudders.  
He hardens his eyes and looks at Sam. “Get him in the car. And tell him not to get out or I swear to god, I will shoot him in the face, Nephilim or not.”  
Sam seems grateful when he says “Yeah, yeah”, and then he’s whispering to “Jack” in a low voice and using his hands a lot. They finally start moving towards the car. 

________He looks at Cas. Cas. His buddy, Cas.And the façade that he’d kept up so long begins to crumble away, and his face drops. That stupid son of a bitch.  
Why the hell couldn’t he look out for himself just once? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He kneels next to his body and it...hardly feels real. I mean, it’s Castiel, Cas..and Cas may have betrayed them, or turned against them more than a few times, and Dean was definitely pissed at him, pissed at him for sacrificing himself, for putting them before him, for killing Billy, and now it had come back to bite him in the ass , but…but he’d always been there for them. He’d done all of it, everything, for them. Their angel. And he’d always come back. So, Dean could hope, couldn’t he? He could wish and pray and want. But as he looked at the gap in his white shirt where the dagger had torn through, he felt a sense of finality. The end of the line._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He turns around to find Jack standing over his shoulder and almost falls over in shock, “Son of a bitch! Wha-?” He looks over to see Sam standing there with a confused look on his face, upon Dean’s raised eyebrows; he mouths “I don’t know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He turns back to Jack ”Can you...fix him?” And Jack stares at him with wistful eyes, like he was sad, or sorry. And Dean _knows _but he still stares, “Answer me, you- “ He looks away, it wasn’t his fault, but _all of it _was his fault, he had opened the goddamned rift, he had manipulated Cas with his crazy Nephilim powers while still in the womb- Dean stops his train of thought, because he knows where this’ll end up.  
All things considered…this was their fault. The BMoL, hell, even Lucifer was their fault. His and Sam’s. His fault. And everybody else paid the price. Dean closed his eyes and punched the ground, a sudden surge of rage filling every crevice of his being, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair! Their only fault, all of theirs’, Charlie, Kevin, now Cas...was their loyalty that bound them to the Winchesters, to Dean.They could have lived good lives, happy lives, if not for-_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The ground seems blurry now, and his cheeks are wet again. And Dean can see Sam quietly leading Jack away. Dean wishes he didn’t exist, that he’d never existed at all, because he realises now that he can’t be happy. Never. There is no light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel, no matter what Sammy thinks. That the universe will always find a way to fuck up all that that is Sam’s and his to keep, will steal away all their chances at happiness and dangle hope in front of them, just to snatch it away at the very end._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________He laughs a short, harsh laugh, his eyes filling up again. And to think he’d almost thought they had it made. Mom was back, Cas was living with them in the bunker, the Darkness was gone and the world…seemed peaceful. If only.  
How dare Dean? How could he even think that he had a chance of…he doesn’t know, a happy life, with his friends and family, kicking ass and taking names till the end. _What was he even thinking? _  
He won’t make that mistake again. He kneels next to Cas, and presses his palm against his, wishing, desperately for this, for one last miracle. Please. His eyes remain closed, there is no flash of light, or a sudden crack of thunder, there is nothing except the lone wind howling through the trees and Dean kneeling over the body of his...Cas. Dean swallows but the lump in his throat doesn’t seem to be going away. He doesn’t withdraw his hand. He can vaguely hear Sam calling to him in the background, something about...no time, figuring things out-what things? That could wait.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He stays next to Cas for the longest time, holding his hand; until he can no longer hear Sam, until flashes of light blue start appearing in the dark of the sky, until Sam steps out of the Car and says to him that Cas...that Cas is gone, but he probably would want Dean to take care of things, of Jack.  
How does Sam know?  
Cas is dead. Dead and he’s not coming back. Dean takes in a deep breath and grabs onto Sam’s shoulder and starts crying, he cries for Cas, for mom, for all those who died for them, he cries for Sammy’s loss of Eileen, and he cries for all the chances they had, and all the chances they won’t anymore. He cries like the world might end, because hey, it just might.  
He cries for a long, long time, until he can feel Sam shaking and realises that Sam’s crying too and then he wipes away his tears and hugs him tight, because Sam’s lost so many things too, and he’s been strong. Handling Jack and giving Dean his time. And that shouldn’t be on him, not on Sammy, not when Dean’s been a downright mess._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________So, he steels himself and pats Sam on the back. They need to get going. To give Cas a proper funeral, to properly…say goodbye. And god knows, Dean has dragged it out as much as possible because he’d _hoped _, but it’s morning, and the Cas hasn’t moved a hair, and so he must.  
He must…let him go._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it too long and wordy or something?

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think?


End file.
